My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Randomize
