She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
