My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
