Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize