we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
