they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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