I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
