I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
