The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize