Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just want to make out with him forever
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
