Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
my liver is dry heaving
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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