i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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