THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
