ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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