my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
