Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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