love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
