My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
