It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
