the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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