Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
