She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Enjoy the penises
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
