you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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