2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
