We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Hippo gnu deer
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
that is very illegal...i love you.
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