We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
