So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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