dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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