I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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