I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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