Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
