I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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