you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
