I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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