the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize