Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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