By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
