just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
