this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
