We got so high we made milksteak
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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