Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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