They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
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