His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
