Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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