I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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