we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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