i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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