I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
