It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
