I looked at my own cervix.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize