Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
