Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
