When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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