Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
