Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
