whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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