you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Text me some of your sweat
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
