I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
