She's JV to your varsity
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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