Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
