I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize