On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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