Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
