I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize