Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
