real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
