tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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