:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
