My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
