just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
