the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I will be naked everywhere
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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