you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
