i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
