I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Another day, another engagement, another cat
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
A+ Viking dick
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Randomize
