yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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