Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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