you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize