Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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